Family and Culture

When I think of culture, my mind tends to go back to ancient civilizations or foreign countries and learning about their different cultures in history classes. However, culture isn't something outdated or a thing of the past. Culture still exists today on various levels. As a country, the United States has our own culture, yet a lot of subcultures as the country is made up of different races, ethnicities, etc. As students at BYU-Idaho, there is a culture of love and kindness both on campus and in our housing complexes. Families can also have their own culture. As two people (who grew up either completely different from one another or oddly similar) get married and start a life together, they create their own culture and way of life among their family that is often different from those around them.

Some elements of culture could be (but obviously aren't limited to): religious worship, food/meals, clothing, ideas on how to raise children, ways of showing love and affection, thoughts on education, political beliefs, gender roles, etc. 

They say that opposites attract, and while that is sometimes the case, can that be true in a relationship? Can two people from completely different backgrounds come together and make things work? Yes. Is it hard? Sometimes. Are you better off marrying someone who has a similar background and family culture as you? Yes and no. There are pros and cons to both of these situations and things that come up that are harder and easier for one couple than it is the other. 

All cultures, although different, are all valid and can bring good things to a relationship. I hesitate to say that one's culture can bring something negative to a family, but instead try to remember that just because something is different doesn't mean it is bad. While it can cause strain on a family relationship as you are navigating each other's culture, it can be worked through and something new learned can come from that. One may gain a new perspective on a situation or way of thinking because of the others' culture. I think communication is so incredibly important here in deciding what aspects of each culture a couple is going to keep in moving forward in their marriage and family. This is something that should be talked about early on to avoid future arguments and unfulfilled expectations. You must be completely open with your partner about what you feel strongly about keeping from your culture and what you're willing to compromise on. Both parties have to agree 100% to avoid relationship strain or arguments because this is a life you're creating for eternity, and not just for yourselves, but your future children and even their future families. Culture is something that is apart of your everyday life and actions. 

Personally, I wouldn't even know how to classify my own family's culture, although I'll try and describe it for you. My family didn't show love or affection very often, and when we did it was weird or awkward. We didn't show much emotion or talk about our feelings very often and usually kept that to ourselves. We attended church each week but didn't participate much in family home evenings or family scripture study, which I think stemmed from the lack of showing love or expressing our thoughts and feelings. My mom and dad both worked and so my older siblings took care of me and my brother, and so there was a bit of disconnect from them. Don't get me wrong, my family has been great and we love each other, and we all turned out just fine. However, I think looking back I see a lot of things I don't want to bring into my marriage and family. Since graduating high school, moving out on my own, and being at college I have already learned how to communicate and express my feelings better, show love and affection to my friends and roommates, and have learned how to talk about the gospel, read my scriptures, share my testimony, etc. without it being weird or being nervous of what others will think of me. The culture here has helped me learn and grow from my personal family culture and learn what aspects to include and leave behind in my future family.