Gender and Family Life

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that we are all spirit sons and daughters of Heavenly Parents. We believe that gender is eternal, and that what our gender was in the premortal existence is the same as our gender here on this Earth. However, this is a tricky subject because all people have their own agency and come into this world believing that they are meant to be the other gender, or are having gender identity struggles. We don't have the right to tell an individual how they feel, but this is where it can cross lines, as we believe gender is eternal and essential to the doctrines and teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

The church put out a document called "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" and it outlines all of the things the church supports in regards to gender, marriage, and family life. The church supports these main ideas as listed in the proclamation:

• Marriage between man and a woman is ordained of God and is essential to Heavenly Father's Plan
• Gender is an essential characteristic of eternal identity and purpose
• Families can be sealed together forever in God's holy temples
• Multiply and replenish the Earth (where able)
• Husband and wife have sacred duties and are responsible for the rearing and nurturing of their children and family 
• Birth within the bonds of matrimony
• The law of chastity is to be kept and violating it is a sin 

So, as members of the church, it is our responsibility to back up these doctrines and defend them. Especially today, as the world is becoming more and more secular, and to put plainly, more worldly. The government is changing and new laws and policies are becoming more widely acceptable, as less of the traditional values that come from Heavenly Father are being supported. 

That being said, marriage between man and a women is what we believe in. There are some gender roles that are upheld by either the husband or the wife. For the husband, that includes the role to provide, preside, and protect. For the wife, that is to care for, nurture, and teach the children and family. Heavenly Father created and designated these specific gender roles because that is what works best. A marriage is a union between two individuals and they should compliment each other, they aren't supposed to be the exact same. But God will not punish a couple for doing what's best for them and their family, as long as they are being cared for and reared in the teachings of the church.

As a family comes together, the couple will need to talk about their expectations of each other and what roles they each want to fulfill. From my personal experience, the gender roles were quite the opposite at some points. When I was elementary school age, my dad stayed home with me and my siblings. I remember him being such a great cook and he did most of the cleaning as well. My mom worked a long and demanding job as the director of a women and children's abuse relief and resource clinic. This is considered to be the opposite of the traditional roles. Then, when I was in middle and high school, my mom became sick and so she stayed home while my dad became the provider. Because my mom was so sick, us children began to take on some parental roles, such as grocery shopping, paying bills, cleaning, cooking, etc. that neither my mom or dad had time for. While this seems more traditional, it was pressure on us children to grow up and mature much earlier than our friends. However, this is what worked best for our family. We did our best and Heavenly Father noticed our efforts and blessed us for them.