Going to school at BYU-Idaho and being surrounded by such an extreme dating culture can be hard. Usually there are two types of people and you are one of the two. Either you are the roommate that is going out on dates 3-4 times a week with someone new each time, or you are the roommate who patiently waits up on Friday nights, watching a movie and indulging in your favorite ice cream until your other roommates get home from their dates so you can hear about all the fun details. And if you're the second type of person (which I am and I'm totally okay with that) then you are doing just fine too. However, it can be discouraging to watch your roommates get asked out on all these fun dates while you haven't experienced the same luck. You may start to ask "why not me?", especially when you have done your best to be social, meet new people and put yourself out there, and it still isn't happening for you.
I'll be totally transparent, I would consider myself to be quite social and extroverted. I have no problem talking to new people and trying new things. I can be a little shy at first, but it doesn't take much to get me out of my shell. And yet, I think I've only been on a total of 6 dates in my entire life, 2 of them being school dances. 4 in high school and 2 in college. And this is my 4th semester here. Talk about feeling discouraged... I know I need to remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and I need to trust that, but it still sucks. So, if you're in the same boat at me, I feel you and I'm sorry, and wish I had more advice to give you to change that. My only thought is to keep being yourself and have confidence.
Although discouraging at time, dating can and should be fun. There are a few primary functions of dating:
- To have fun and be social
- Find an eternal companion
- Learn more about yourself
Another thing people mistake dating for is hanging out. In our class, we discussed two different viewpoints about dating. Elder Oaks, an apostle for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints defined dating with the Three P's. A date is planned, paid for, and you are paired off. When hanging out with a group of people, something could be planned and paid for, but what really makes it a date is the fact that there are couples paired off and it is clear that you two are on a date. I didn't catch the author's name, but in his book, the author talks about the Three T's. Time, togetherness, and talking. Now, you can do all of those three T's while hanging out, but they are crucial components to dating. Quality time together where you can really talk and get to know one another can allow you two to create close bonds and a connection needed to pursue each other further. If there is a lack of connection, then you know you should keep trying with other people.
To end, here are some date ideas for you! All of them are fun, but some are definitely cheaper than others. Don't feel a ton of pressure to make a date super extravagant or expensive, especially if it is a first date. You can save those for your future spouse. (Side note: Ladies!! Don't feel weird about asking a guy you like on a date. Take one of these ideas, show initiative, and have fun!)
- Picnic in the park (each of you can bring your favorite foods)
- Bowling, mini golf, roller skating etc. (something of that sort)
- A hike
- Rock climbing or a trampoline park
- Make homemade pizza and cookies
- Go play a sport in the park (volleyball, disc golf, tennis, spikeball, etc.)
- Axe throwing
- Pumpkin patch, a haunted house, or a straw maze (if it's fall time)
- Go get ice cream at G's Dairy
- Go star gazing
Some of these are specific to Rexburg but I'm sure there is something similar to do where you are. Dating is awesome and such a fun time in your life. Have fun with it, don't take it too serious (unless you find the one), and keep it cheap :)
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